May 17, 2011--Sometimes the good guys have to lose in order to win.

So, I've been thinking about something a lot in the last six or seven months. It's very personal to me, and at the same time very tightly connected to who I am professionally.

When someone is right, why is it that the people who need to realize it just don't?

I think the short answer is that life isn't fair.

Last Friday was the thirteenth of May. Not the Friday the Thirteenth of October, 1307 when the Knights Templar were forcibly disbanded and many members were arrested, tortured and executed, but Friday the Thirteenth nevertheless.

The Knights Templar originated, in part from the remnants of the crusades. They were men on the side of righteousness. Their sworn purpose was to fight for, and protect the Holy Land and its many treasures. In many ways, they were God's army in flesh.

One could make the argument that the Templars were corrupted by their power and the very righteousness of their purpose. In a sense, they came to think of themselves as untouchable and beyond reproach. Obviously, that perception was anything but reality in the face of a French King who was deeply in debt to the Templars, and looking for a way out. Opportunity became the Templars' greatest and most insurmountable foe.

I finally finished watching all of the miniseries "The Kennedys" tonight, and while I know that the wider world has pretty much honed in on its inaccuracies and the way it sensationalized many historical events of the era, one thing seemed to ring true--John F. Kennedy was a formidable man who never got to fulfill all of his potential, and his brother Bobby was possibly a great man who never got to fulfill all of his potential. As I watched the scene in which JFK was gunned down, I was emotionally flat. When I watched Bobby gunned down, a lump rose in my throat and I had to wipe away tears.

Jeph and I also just finished watching "Survivor: Redemption Island." "Boston Rob" finally won, and he did so in ruthless style. He figuratively steam rolled over the entire playing field. There was another guy who didn't make it to the final three who battled valiantly, and in many ways was one of the greatest representations of the "Survivor" experience I've seen. Matt, who spent the majority of the 39 days at Redemption Island didn't get to play a social game. He was alone a great deal of the time. The challenge of being alone so much of the time tested him and his faith tremendously. I'm not a person of faith, but I respect that in the face of the unknown, and deep loneliness, it can't be a bad thing to have something upon which you can cling. After four attempts, I thought Rob was due, but there was a part of me that secretly wanted Matt to win.

There's a boy in Connecticut who recently committed an act of vandalism that I'm pretty sure any woman, young or old, would completely relish. He asked his girl to prom by taping the words in giant letters to the side of the school building. Nearly 200,000 people on Facebook have expressed their view that James Tate should be allowed to attend his prom in spite of the fact that he was suspended for the vandalism, and that it is school policy that he not attend. I think James Tate is a good guy--at the very least, he's a romantic. I think Dr. Beth Smith, the school's headmaster is a "good guy" too. And I think both Tate and Smith are losing.

It's hard to be right when it seems like nobody cares. I find myself in a career that's meaningful, even though I think it's the wrong one. I've always been invested in being on the side of what's right in my actions and words--even when it has cost me personally. I think a lot of us find ourselves in that situation. We find ourselves so invested in what is right that we become lightning rods for criticism and even unfair scrutiny. We are backed into a place where we can no longer stand up for what we believe in without falling on our own swords.

I want to believe that sometimes good guys have to lose in order to win.

As the centuries have passed, the Knights Templar are still a subject of great interest and mystique. Most of the trumped up charges brought against them at the time of their disbandment have been dismissed by historians as unlikely and ridiculous. Many believe that in spite of the terror of the time, the Templars secretly survived in some form. One may even be protecting the Holy Grail at Petra. I hope so.

The Kennedy family still stands for many as a shining example of what is to be esteemed. There will always be a sense of regret and the question of what might have been. To be sure, the Kennedy men were anything but perfect, but they had a vision for our nation that was lost--hopefully not forever. As they struggled to ensure that James Meredith was allowed to enroll in classes at Ole Miss, I can't imagine how proud they might have been to see an African American sit in the Oval Office.

Matt Elrod didn't win a million dollars on Survivor, but he didn't lose the person he was and his integrity to take home a bucket of cash. Who knows, his winning spirit may bring him back to Redemption Island again someday.

Who knows how James Tate and Dr. Beth Smith's standoff is going to play out in the end? I suspect that Tate will not be allowed to attend prom, no matter how many pleas are made. He has lost that once in a lifetime experience. He's young. It's too early in his life to know what will happen between him and his lady love, but for now, he has most certainly won her heart. Dr. Smith has lost the battle of public opinion, but she has won in the battle of leading in the face of backlash and standing for the principles of the institution she represents.

Everyday, we each have a battle to fight. Some battles are bigger and more important than others. Do I go five miles over the speed limit, because I've left the house ten minutes too late to get to work on time? Do I protest when I think the load we have puts important factors in danger for those I have vowed to care for, or do I turn myself inside out, work without recognition and sometimes pay to ensure that I don't sacrifice what is really important? Do I lose so I can someday find a way to win?

I don't know what the right answer is. Sometimes I think the only way for me to win is to lose my current battles. If I lose these battles, I have the opportunity to heal and regroup. I have the opportunity to rebuild the army of myself.

http://youtu.be/MPSE_cbPLZc

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