So, a friend posted a status on Facebook today about her mom. Moms are a touchy subject for many of us.
Maybe it's a woman thing, but it seems like your experience is either fantastic or horrible, with very few moments in between. With the approaching holiday, no matter your experience, it's not surprising that Mom is on your mind. I know mine certainly comes to mind.
There are as many different types of mother as there are women who become one. There are few ground rules, and some mothers fail to even to follow those. Oprah always says that she views motherhood as being the most difficult job on earth. She's taken on so many jobs on this great planet, she must be right, since it's one of the only things she hasn't tried her hand at.
Motherhood changes a woman's make up, from the inside out. From the very moment of conception, the body and its chemistry become something wholly other. For the more spiritual, one might even say "holy other." It seems impossible that such a physical change could fail to do anything but completely transform everything else about a woman, too. I don't speak from experience.
As someone considering motherhood, I often reflect on my mother. I think about the happy times when I was her confidante and best friend. At nearly forty, I think about the ways in which I wish she had been more of a mother to me and less a friend. I wonder if it's possible to strike a perfect balance. Then I get caught up in the meaning of the word "perfect," and the complete nonsense of such an idea. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, only flashes of good and shades of bad. My guess is that mothers generally hope that there are more flashes than shades.
I think about the roughness of my childhood, and how I want my child to know safety, love, security and hope. These seem like minimal things, but when you watch the evening news or open a newspaper, the reports of children lacking these basics is unfortunate proof that they can't be taken for granted. As I look at my current life, I also want my child to be fearless, confident and free to explore every possible dream, not finding herself so bogged down by worries about security and stability that she fails to do everything possible to make her dreams come true.
Most parents say they want their children to have more opportunities, and to live even better lives than they did growing up. The true challenge of motherhood is to be pleased when that actually happens. It's a testament to love--how much one loves her child, versus how much one loves herself. I believe the only way to be a successful mother is for that love to be as close to equal as possible.
As Mother's Day fast approaches, maybe those of us who aren't yet mothers should take stock of our own lives and remember those dreams we left behind in favor of something more secure. If we want our daughters and sons to follow their dreams, isn't following our own dreams the best way to show them how?
http://youtu.be/Zz-DJr1Qs54
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