There's been a lot of talk lately about people becoming too easily offended by symbols. Most recently, there have been weak arguments by those who still think it's appropriate to display the Rebel or Confederate Flag in spite of its strong association with racism and the South's secession over slavery. It is unfathomable how people can so erroneously claim the Civil War had little or nothing to do with slavery. I also can't figure out how anyone waving that flag can imagine that doing so doesn't fan the flames of interracial strife among blacks and whites.
While I agree that we sometimes get our feathers unnecessarily ruffled by symbols, frankly, some symbols and symbolism really are harmful.
The gender differentiated toy department is harmful to kids, especially girls.
When we look at the current political climate, it is clear that women still have a long way to go to be seen as equals in this nation.
Legislators are targeting Planned Parenthood and promising to defund it because the organization's facilities perform abortions. They don't care what the real numbers are, and they don't care about the many other health services that are provided to women in need. The leading Republican candidate has openly remarked that a female journalist, whom he felt was being unkind to him, had "blood coming out of her eyes, out of her wherever." Women are treated and talked about by powerful men as if they are children in need of a firm hand and lots of guidance. No man would tolerate the level of disrespect women are expected to stomach everyday. Every election cycle brings us back to the argument about women's reproductive rights. Every election cycle regenerates "the war on women," that leaders on the right always claim does not exist.
What, you may ask, does this have to do with the girls' and boys' building sets signs in the toy department at Target?
It's about controlling the message to young girls. "These are the toys girls are supposed to play with." "You are limited to coloring your life experience in shades of pink."
For children, play is work. It is how they learn about the world around them. It's how they develop new skills and gain knowledge. But play is also how children develop socially, and how they become who they want to be. It shouldn't be your toys' job to tell you who to be--it should be your job to tell your toys what to be.
Now, it is true that parents can ignore labels and they can purchase any toys for their children that they want, but if labels are there to be ignored, why even have them? Wouldn't it just be easier to take all the labels away?
I don't frequent the toy departments at Walmart as often as I do the ones at Target, in part because I can't seem to make heads or tails of the ones at Walmart. They seem to kind of be all over the place. But I really tried to peruse one of the Walmart toy departments yesterday. Interestingly enough, I didn't notice any signage. I don't know if I just overlooked it out of my normal Walmart induced confusion, or if it just isn't there. It made the negative backlash about Target's toy signage decision even more mind boggling.
Let's be honest, changing the signage in the toy department is only a first step in the right direction, and when you walk into the toy department, you will still be able to easily guess which toys girls are "supposed" to play with. There is still going to be an aisle that nearly vomits pink at you from a Barbie or Disney Princess package. Nobody is proposing the idea of gender-neutral packaging or removing toys that reinforce the gender stereotypes that all girls want to and should play with dolls and toy vacuum cleaners. Nobody is suggesting that toy trucks and toy guns won't still be targeted at boys. Frankly, I think the world would be a much better place if those things did happen, but there's too much money to be made by reinforcing patriarchal positive gender stereotypes.
There are plenty of other places in the average retail establishment in which gender differentiation is obnoxious.
Little girls' summer shorts are still shorter and tighter than little boys' summer shorts, and it recently occurred to me that the bottom half of almost all little girls' bathing suits are bikini-ish in cut. Not a boy cut leg in sight. If you want something different, you have to get outside of the "box" and look or special order. There are no Speedo style swimming trunks for little boys.
And I am sure every woman can bemoan the difference in price between merchandise for women and merchandise for men--even if the item is only different because it is a pastel color or teal, or it says "lady" on it somewhere.
It would be great for equality among genders to infiltrate every aspect of my retail experience. But if I have to make a choice between paying a little more for a disposable razor and my daughter not having labels to point out what toys with which she should play, or telling her that it is appropriate for her to show a little more leg at 18 months, I am happy to pay that difference.
It is our job as parents to help our kids become who they are, and who they want to be. Some of us are comfortable with the status quo. Some of us momentarily cringe when our daughters are given their first doll to play with--only because we don't want our girls to get any kind of message about what their place in the world should be or that there are limits to what she can achieve. Girls have been getting that message for too long. And as I watch all of the political drama play itself out in the same vicious cycle, with women and their bodies to be controlled as pawns, I have little hope that the times are changing soon.
At the end of the day, our kids need choices without labels. If my daughter walks into the toy department and wants a Lego set that builds a Star Wars Millenium Falcon instead of a Disney Princess castle, I appreciate that she's not going to feel awkward because her choice came from the "boys" section. At the same time, no boy should feel weird about wanting one of those Little Tikes toy vacuum cleaners.
I've made my argument for gender neutralization of the toy department because of my own feelings about how positive such a move could be for girls, but without question, it will be a positive for those kids who are wrestling with their gender identities. And those kids are real and their pain and confusion is real.
Playtime should be a safe place to express yourself and be who you want to be. It shouldn't be wrought with labels and heavy guidance. Our kids are smart. They don't need signs to tell them how to be kids. They will figure out what's right for them without help from clever marketing, and without all the old "rules" about how to make their choices.
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