So, the Twilight novels frequently receive criticism from "serious" writers and "serious" people for various reasons. Over the years, even I, in all of my swept up lovingness of them have identified things about them that I find ridiculous. Certain turns of phrase make me cringe because of their absolute absurdity, like when Edward is discussing his view of his wedding night with Bella and how it was "the best night of my existence." Now, come on, would a one hundred-year-old really talk that way? I don't think so. I don't think a one thousand-year-old would talk that way.
That said, there's something that strikes a chord with Twilight fans that allows us to ignore the fact that some of the themes are redundant and trite, and at times, not even as well executed as they could be. I mean, how many girl meets vampire, girl falls in love with vampire, vampire falls in love with girl and complications ensue stories are there? A cajillion.
So why is Twilight the one that got thrown at the wall and stuck? I don't know. I only know why it stuck for me, and why it seems to have stuck for my small circle of friends. It's because of the complete unreality of the love story.
Let's forget for a just a moment that Edward is a vampire. Let's forget that Jacob is a werewolf. Let's pretend that these guys are just two average Joes. Doing that strips away the first layer of "fantastic," but even if we strip away this layer, you still have two guys behaving over a girl in a very unnatural and unrealistic way. Neither one of them walked up to Bella after class and said, 'hey, do you want to grab a bite and go see a movie?' Both of them approached her from the extreme--essentially throwing themselves at, and then desperately pulling themselves away, in spite of their deep longing, from her.
Now tell me girls, when was the last time your significant other expressed their undying love for you with this kind of angst? I'm pretty sure it's never. And now tell me, how many times have you dreamed that someone would fall so desperately in love with you that even against the most unmanageable odds they would do absolutely anything for you--even involve themselves in massive "gang" fights to protect you from certain death? How many times have you dreamed that someone would make you the entire center of their world and cater to your most absurd whim at a moment's notice? I'm pretty sure it's everyday, even if you're in a relationship.
We dream of the the absurd, and Twilight is, well, the absurd. Even some of my more grounded and down to earth friends support this idea.
As the days leading up to the "Breaking Dawn" premiere trickled away, one such friend speculated on how much of the wedding night would really be played out on film. In my opinion, one of the strengths of the books is the fact that there is so much ridiculous sexual tension, and the actual consummation of the Edward and Bella relationship might consist of a paragraph. Now, most of us in long-term, committed relationships have sex, but there's something desperately intriguing about this couple who does not. My friend who was most interested in this aspect of the story even sought out Twilight porn in hopes that it might fulfill the fantasy. Interestingly, the reason it failed was because there was no plot.
Now I think we all know that, in general, porn usually doesn't have a plot, at most it has a theme. The Edward and Bella theme isn't strong enough to carry a porno flick. Why? It's because we are after the absurdly ridiculous and unnatural love story. If dressing up as Edward and Bella and "doing the deed" was enough, there wouldn't be any reason to read the books or go to the movies multiple times.
If the wedding night was the best night of Edward's existence, then for many of us who follow and love the Twilight series, this story is at least one of the best that can never really exist, and it's not just because vampires and werewolves don't exist, it's because this kind of love doesn't really exist.
Now I know that my saying that makes me a Debbie Downer, and I will probably incur a tiny little wrath from my lovely and devoted husband, who makes a damn fine effort to love me absurdly. But hear me out.
What are Edward and Bella going to do for an eternity?
We already know that for about a hundred years, Edward has been going to high school and college over and over, and that he wasn't even really interested in dating anyone. We know that he and his family never sleep, they have no interest in television. They don't use their time to get into politics or make the world better, unless we all give Carlisle the hero award for becoming a brilliant doctor in spite of his obvious handicap, or we recognize Rosalie as the most staunchly pro-life vampire ever. It would seem that the only routine connection to contemporary life Alice has is with fashion. Who knows how Emmet, Jasper and Esme pass their time?
Yes, they have ridiculous amounts of money and can do anything they want. But at a point, what is left to do after hundreds of years besides eat and stand around looking devastatingly beautiful?
Life and the kind of love we mere humans find are real. Reality is getting up in the morning, splashing water on your face to get the sleep out of your eyes, realizing you wish you'd shaved your legs last night, and brushing your teeth. It's going to work and getting through your day. It's coming home and recapping the mundane with your partner and hitting the sack early because you have to do it all again tomorrow. It's a vacation once a year if you're lucky, and figuring out how you're going to fund it, and who's going to watch your dogs. It's an occasional night out for dinner at a fancy place in fancy clothes. It's occasionally thoughtless, and saying things you didn't mean, or even failing to realize you should have responded in the first place. It's ordinary and mundane at times, and at others, it's the only thing that keeps you going in the wake of other disappointments and despair.
Edward and Bella are the fictional characters inside our souls. They are who we would be if we didn't really exist. I'm okay with the fact that I'm not going to be kicking around looking for something to do for the next thousand years, because that means I have to find a way to fit everything into my short life that I can, and I have to appreciate every good thing that comes along before I run out of time.
Would I love for Edward Cullen to come along and brush his cool marble hand against my cheek? You betcha, but I think it would be hard for me to compete with a mountain lion for long, and even though I'm totally enamored of it right now, I'm sure I'd get really tired of Isle Esme. So, I'm going to visit the Cullens from time to time and I am going to continue to breathe in and out, and do all of the things they don't have to worry about.
A Thousand Years--Christina Perri
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