So, when you are a stay at home mom, it’s easy to become isolated and sometimes you don’t feel sane. Sometimes you need someone you can bounce off your worst fears and feelings to. You need someone to whom you can say anything.
Sure, having that person doesn’t make everything magically better, but it can magically make you not feel so alone.
My friend Ginnifer is that stay at home mom—that sister in arms—to whom I can say anything.
On my hardest days, I question everything I do. I start to believe the negative mom talk about raising kids, and I start to think I am doing a horrible job. I start to believe that my husband sprinkles coffee grounds on the floor intentionally, just to see if I will notice they are there, and vacuum them up.
On those days, I send Ginnifer a text, not to solve the problem, but just to clear my head.
Sometimes, the text is just to express minor frustration—like something someone in the house does that drives me batty. Other times, it’s to keep myself from circling the drain. Last Tuesday, I reached out to her when I was at an exhausted breaking point, and I found myself asking my three-year-old for time and space, because I just needed to cry it out. Ginnifer understood. She always understands.
We’ve known each other for about 20 years. She was my brother-in-law’s girlfriend when I met her, and we clicked instantly. It caused a stink, but I stood my ground when it came to remaining friends after their breakup. I don’t have a ton of friends, and I couldn’t afford to lose one like Ginnifer just because she was no longer dating a family member.
One of the reasons I held on so tightly, is because she is one of the rare individuals with whom I can spend time, and never Feel drained. For an introvert, that’s huge. And with Ginnifer, I never need a filter. I never have to worry that I am going to say something so outrageous that she will be offended, or think I am a terrible person. With her, chances are if I’m thinking something, she’s thought the same thing.
The only thing about Ginnifer that doesn’t work for me is how far away she is. We’ve been lucky enough to see each other a couple of times this year—which is more than usual—but it’s never enough. And each time I see her, I leave in tears, because I just didn’t get enough time.
She understands me as a person first, and a mom second, because she gets the fact that becoming a mom doesn’t change the fact that you are still a human who needs to air out the laundry, and let the hard stuff go.
To say that I am grateful to have her in my life is a ridiculous understatement. Every moment I get to spend with her, and every moment in which I feel supported by her in this mom journey is precious. She’s 10 hours away geographically, but she’s only seconds away by heart.
She gets it. She gets me. And I love her.
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