So, just over four years ago, life turned upside down. Unlike the Fresh Prince, however, we did not find ourselves in Bel Air. Instead, we found ourselves in Northwest Arkansas. Our ties to the area weren’t super strong, but Jeph had grown up in Joplin, just forty-five minutes north of where we landed.
We were expecting our daughter, and I was successfully “hermiting.” I was sick most of the time, and certainly not great company. I binge-watched a lot of television, and hung out on the couch with my dog.
One person seemed to know that things couldn’t stay that way forever.
Several of Jeph’s Joplin friends have befriended me over the years, but one friend in particular has become a regular companion.
Not long after moving down here, Tomi started getting me out of the house from time to time. She was one of the very first people in this neck of the woods to make me feel welcome, and like I wasn’t all on my own.
She shared the insanity that is the War Eagle Craft Fair, and I don’t imagine either of us will forget that trip we almost took to the Junk Ranch. And while I will never be as good at it as she is, she has taught me to at least take a stab at negotiating prices when we are on the hunt.
But Tomi is more than just a companion. She is the first real, solid, and reliable friend I had in this new life.
Tomi and I are solid introverted nerds. We like books, antiques, crafts, and Doctor Who. We each understand when the other just needs to hole up in their quiet place and not be around anyone. We could both spend hours pinning art nouveau pieces on Pinterest, reading classic literature, or binge watching Doctor Who Christmas specials. We share a dry, and frequently “off” sense of humor.
She gets me, and I get her.
She is almost always the first person to check in on me and ask how I’m doing on rough days. She knows she can’t always help, but I know her well enough to know that she genuinely means it when she says she wishes she could.
A week or so after I had my daughter, Tomi took me out to get fitted for nursing bras, and to rummage the aisles of Walgreens in search of compression sock, because my legs and feet were still very swollen.
Months later, Jeph and I were supposed to host a holiday party and he got stuck at work. Tomi arrived an hour and a half early, saw my panic, and saw that I was cooking and cleaning up after things—still in my pajamas—and that I truly needed help. Without batting an eye, she ushered me off to the shower, watched my baby, and helped me start greeting people as they arrived until Jeph got home.
That’s something very special about Tomi. She’s a little on the conservative side—especially in comparison to myself—and she has a strong faith that guides her. And while I know that it makes me cynical to say it, I don’t often see many people like her who truly walk their talk.
In the time that I have known her, I have come to know someone who will truly try to help others if she can. She lives in a small bungalow home, which she has carefully decorated with beautiful pieces she has hunted down. In the last four years, I know of at least a couple of times she has opened up her home to a family member or friend who just needs a place to crash until they can get back on track. She routinely loans out furniture and other treasures from her collection. And almost every time we go on one of our hunting adventures, she is thinking about someone she knows who is looking for something specific.
She is a kind and caring soul, and she rarely asks for anything herself. She’s forgiving, and compassionate. When it comes to people, and the sometimes odd and nonsensical things they do, she is always quick to remind me of one simple fact: “People are complicated.”
I’m not just thankful for Tomi, I am lucky and blessed to have someone like her in my life, and in my corner. She’s a deeply honest, caring, and generous person. And to have all of that wrapped in a Whovian spirit is at least twice the blessing.
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