So, a little over 25 years ago, I met a guy. I didn’t know that he was going to completely change so much about the direction of my life, but even now, he’s never stopped.
When I met Jeph Blanchard, I had only been away from “home” for three weeks. In that time, I had been abandoned by a fiancé, learned the harsh reality of what it really meant to be completely on my own, and I had realized that I could either be “stuck,” or climb out of my despair, and make my situation work.
It never occurred to me that I had been chasing after the wrong path for so long, or that I could find a place for myself after two long years of drama and upheaval that had followed 16 years of childhood trauma, abuse, and emotional terror. I had essentially been abandoned by every parental unit in my life, and the only ties remaining to family were unraveled, shredded, and left to fly in the storms of young adulthood.
I really didn’t have a place to call home, either.
Jeph changed all of that. He didn’t run when I told him my secrets. I don’t know if he had it on his agenda to be someone’s hero and saving grace, but if he did, he was extremely nonchalant about it.
Before I could think of controlling what was happening, I was in love with him, and he was nothing like anyone I had cared about before. That’s probably why it worked. That’s probably why it still works 25 years later.
It hasn’t been 25 years of completely smooth sailing. We’ve had our ups and downs, and there were times I felt we might be spending so much time in our own different worlds, that our shared world was wearing thin. Fate has a way of grabbing us by the shirt collars, shaking us, and reminding us what we have. Sometimes, the shaking is violent and painful.
The how’s, the whys—they don’t really matter. We are a partnership now. Even so, I know that he is my rock, my anchor, and my lifeboat. He taught me what romantic love can be, but he also taught me what strong, unwavering love can be. He gave me a home—literally and figuratively. And he helped me build a family out of a love and friendship that was, and is so much more than the scraps, and ash that seemed to still be burning when we met.
To say that I am thankful for him would never do him justice. I know he believes that we are on an equal footing in our partnership, but the truth of it is that I couldn’t be who I am without him. I couldn’t have lived so many dreams without him. I couldn’t understand how you keep fighting for things, even when they are hard if he hadn’t given me so much in my life worth fighting for.
No comments:
Post a Comment